For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
