SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
