You're a womanizer and a bitch.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
