he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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