you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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