Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
