no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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