guys are not supposed to queef...right?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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