Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
In America we eat man semen.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
