I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
