I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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