i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
