It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
