I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
