A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
