they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
