Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
