Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
