If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
