No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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