even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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