This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
