My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
