Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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