Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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