a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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