My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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