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Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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