were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
