Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
