He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
