I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
