I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How naked do you want me to be?
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