Have you finally orgasmed yet?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
