hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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