I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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