Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
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