Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
