I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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