We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
