I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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