Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
