I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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