Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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