You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
