what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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