By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Everyone says I win the strip club
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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