you win again, gameday.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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