i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
