Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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